I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
