This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize