Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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