The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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