dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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