Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
