Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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