Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
