She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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