Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
