Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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