Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
