I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
