oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
