Got a toothbrush?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
