so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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