I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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