Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
