they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
