im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
