oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
