You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
