There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
