no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
