someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
