Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
