Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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