pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
