yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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