He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
