Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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