haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize