I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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