Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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