names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
