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I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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