My room smells like vodka and shame
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
