Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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