let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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