I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
