These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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