You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
