The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
