I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
