Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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