oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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