ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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