What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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