foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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