Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The power of my boobs compel you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize