If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize