We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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