I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
