He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
