Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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