Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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