Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
