is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize