I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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