Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we have officially lost it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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