I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
