So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
