I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
the gays at disneyland are vicious
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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