Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
